Friday, February 25, 2011

Take Two Steps Forward....

and one step back and you've made a little progress. That is a line from a song I heard growing up. First, off on a little tangent...everything I ever needed to know I learned from Janeen Brady. She helped write a series called "Standin' Tall". If you've never heard of it, I suggest you google them and buy them for your kids. You won't be sorry you did. :)

So back to my topic...okay, another tangent...if anyone ever does a story of my mediocre and mundane life, it really MUST be a musical. I can think of a song for every situation I have ever faced in my life. I sometimes think that I could speak so much more eloquently through the words of music. Wow...I think I'm coming down with adult ADD.

NOW on to my my topic. Does anyone else feel that this is the pattern of your life? You seem to make some giant leaps forward and then you come across a snag or a minor set-back. Then I'm bounding off again, learning, growing, line upon line, precept upon precept, two steps forward then one step back. But I am such an impatient person. I want to know it all NOW! I don't want to learn a step at a time and I definitely don't want to take any steps back. Sometimes it just feels overwhelming realizing all the things I need to learn to become like my Heavenly Father. Some days are so good and I'm feeling on top of the world and then some days I can't hardly face it all. The back and forth is agonizing at times. So I was pondering and reading in the scriptures and this Book of Mormon study manual I have from my good ol' days at BYU and something just HIT me!

President Spencer W. Kimball: "We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we would have joys and sorrows, ease and pain, comforts and hardships, health and sickness, successes and disappointments, and we knew also that after a period of life we would die. We accepted all these eventualities with a GLAD HEART, (emphasis added) eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable. We eagerly accepted the chance to come earthward even though it might be only for a day or a year. Perhaps we were not so much concerned whether we should die of disease, of accident, or of senility. We were willing to take life as it came and as we might organize and control it, and this WITHOUT MURMUR (again emphasis added), complaint, or unreasonable demands."

I could all of a sudden see myself back in the premortal existence and we were being told the plan. We could see all of the various trials we would face and the sorrow that would come. Knowing what I know now and am feeling at times in my life, what would have made me eagerly accept it with a glad heart? Only one thing. I could see what the end result would be and it must have been breathtakingly beautiful and wonderful. I could see what I would become when I was through with this life after facing each new challenge and I longed for it like nothing else. And really, this life is such a short time compared to all of eternity. I probably thought to myself, "I only have to endure a few short earth years to receive all of the blessings of eternity? Done!" So this is what I keep in my mind as I'm going through life's trials. When I am done with this trial I will be changed and stronger and one step closer to becoming something beautiful and Celestial.

President Howard W. Hunter: "At various times in our lives, probably at repeated times in our lives, we do have to acknowledge that God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see. 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.' (Isaiah 55:8)"

This past year has taught me this more than anything. Either you believe you are here by chance with no purpose and to just SURVIVE, or you believe that there is a loving Heavenly Father who is so invested in your future that he has "prepared the way for you through the wilderness". As I have studied the scriptures, this point has jumped out at me over and over; with the Israelites, with the Jaredites, with Lehi and Nephi. God prepared the way for them to make it through the wilderness. Would He not do the same for me? We are all travelers through the wilderness of life and I have seen God's hand preparing the way for me through the challenges I am facing. There are great blessings that come through facing the difficulties. We must keep our eyes open for what can be gained on the other side when we finally make it through. The other side yielded the "Promised Land". When we are in the midst of those trials it seems unbearable at times, but I look towards the other side to see what I will have gained by coming through it. Pain fades, memories fade, but the lessons can be remembered and become a part of our character.

Again, a song to put the point so eloquently; " How Firm a Foundation" Hymn #85
"When through the fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply,
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."
This was really more for my benefit. It's me thinking out loud....
Thanks for stopping by. :)


Laura said...


Seriously, it is Saturday morning and I am catching up on computer time, and I am now sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Your post was beautiful! You are so right. I love the connections you made to the scriptures. I have thought of those things myself. It is great to look BACK (emphasis added) and see the trial from the other side. See the stronger you, the braver you, the more spiritual you and most important...the more Christlike you. With every trial we face and win, we DO become more like him. Thank you so much for thinking out loud and sharing it with the rest of us. You are so loved!


Verdella said...

Kris, Where did you come from? I can't believe such a wonderful spirit could possibly be MY daughter. What a blessing you are to me and to your family. I love you more than words can express. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

ilze said...

i dont have words... there is just no words in me to describe what your posts do for me in my dark times.
one thing is for sure... you lift me up out of them even if its just for a short time krissie. some days this darkness threatens to engulf me again and drag me down but then i go to your blog just to find a new update right at that moment (strange)and for a while im living in the world again where the "normal" people lives. those who are alive and have hope and dreams.

Marisa said...

LOVE this post. Thanks for the encouragement.