Tuesday, December 28, 2010

New Beginnings

This is a picture of the Oak seed that we planted on behalf of Alan. We are going to plant it in the yard in the Spring. I was just thinking about how it represents new life and a new beginning which feels appropriate as it applies to my life. I know I have posted some pretty sad and depressing things over the last few weeks in an attempt to get it all out there. Some people have taken it to mean that I am depressed and are worried about me. But what I was trying to convey is that I am not depressed. I am extremely happy because I have let it all go. It is my past and it no longer defines who I am. I am choosing to be happy. Not that I haven't been happy before, but now there is nothing weighing me down.

As New Year's is approaching, I have reflected over this past year and the twists and turns it took. From the death of my Grandpa in January, to the death of a friend's daughter, to building new friendships and losing some friendships, to the death of my brother and to being healed from my past hurts and pain. It has been a rollercoaster ride. But in the end, I have been refined and become more devoted to the Savior and so it was all worth it.

I am looking forward to the next year and it's many twists and turns. I can't even begin to imagine what is in store for me. But no matter what happens, I can overcome anything with the Savior by my side. This I know.

On my path to discovering who I am, I have hurt some people. There is no excuse for what I have done, but I am truly sorry that I have hurt you. It was not my intention. I wish more than anything I could have learned an easier way without hurting anyone. I pray everyday that those who have been hurt by me can someday forgive me. It is my greatest wish. Maybe in time....

So to looking forward to my future, I am seeing the twins potty trained, Jason starting Highschool and Seminary, McKenna needing another heart surgery, Joshy learning how to read, teaching the kids piano, a much needed vacation to Hawaii with my sweet hubby, and many more things that I can't see yet. Let the ride begin! :)
Happy New Year!!!!