Angels #3

Now that the kids are back in school, maybe I will have more time to blog. It is kind of like writing in my diary for all to see only a little more censored. :) If you could see my ACTUAL journal, you might be tempted to put me in a Psych Ward.

As I was writing in my journal today, my thoughts turned to my brother, Alan, who passed away almost a year ago. It was this week that he was moving in with us. I can't believe a year has passed already since then. So much has happened and changed.

It got me thinking about a group of angels that helped me through that hard time after his death. I would like to acknowledge them now.

The day I found out about his death, I attended church because the children had a Primary program that they were participating in and I didn't want to deprive them of that. I knew it would be very hard to be there in the emotional state I was in. I wanted to be alone, or so I thought. But this one angel saw me sitting there and put her arm around me and took me to Relief Society and kept her arm around me the whole time. She didn't mind that I was an emotional wreck, spewing snot and tears all over the place. She just hugged me even harder. She didn't say a word. I just felt her love.

I have thought about that over the last year. When you see people that are hurting so badly, it is hard to know what to do or say at that moment. But she just knew what I needed and did it.

Another angel that day. I called up my oldest and dearest friend in the early morning hours after finding out and told her the news. She told me she would be over that afternoon. She and her husband played with the kids while I sat in my room and tried to process everything. I was so glad the kids could play and be happy while I was having my break down. It allowed me to be able to really let it all out and grieve without trying to be strong for my kids. I didn't want to talk and she didn't try to get me to talk. She waited for me to open up. She was a rock for me that day and has been for me every day since I have known her.

Another angel. A friend who had recently lost her brother heard the news and she brought me some flowers with a card that said, "Here is something beautiful to look at when you first wake up in the morning to chase the bad dreams away." I loved it! It really did help me because it mostly let me know that someone else knew that kind of pain and they had made it through, and it let me know that someone cared.

One more angel. We were driving Alan's body up to Idaho. We got the news that we could get his body a day earlier than we had planned. We weren't quite prepared to go, but we wanted to get up there as soon as possible. In comes an angel. She had gathered snack foods and lunch foods for our family. It was a God-send. We had all the food we needed for the drive and were set to leave in no time. We hadn't told anyone our dilemma. But God knew and sent an angel.

I am so grateful for these angels that came in abundance during the most crucial time of need for me. Thinking back on it, it lifts me up and reminds me that I am loved and God knows my needs.

Thanks for stopping by. :)

Krissi

Um...is it July already?

Game Night Box.

Kids mail boxes

Mommy's mail box

I am REALLY bad at updating. Life is busy but extremely good at the moment. I can't believe that half the year is gone. I remember back in January wondering what this year would hold for me and so far it has been...another roller coaster ride. :)

Rob and I did get to Hawaii. Then my son broke his arm the day after we got back. Then we lost Rob's mom after a long battle with Huntingtons disease. Football camps, Girls camp, Scout camp, Trek...it is going by in a blur.

While we were in Hawaii, we visited the Pearl 1st Ward for church. They had a list of the Seven F's. I LOVED it so much I e-mailed it to myself so that I could use it. I'm sure you have all heard something like it before, but it is a good reminder.

Family prayer

Family scripture study

Family home evening

Family service

Family Fun

Family Council

Frequent Temple attendance

I noticed in particular the Family Service and Family Fun. I think it is a good principle that a family should work together and play together. We are usually all about the work because that is never ending. But I felt very strongly that we needed to make time to make sure we have fun. So I went out and bought a bunch of new games and put them into a container. This is the game night box and it is only to be used on game night. Again, not an original idea. The kids LOVE it, though. Every Saturday night is our family game night. I make snacks and treats and we all sit around the table and play games. I have already noticed a huge difference in my teenager. He joined us and even played with the younger kids. It was one of those "it is all worth it" moments.

Another thing I have implemented is our own "mail system". The kids would catch me in the middle of making dinner and attack me with all sorts of things they wanted me to see or hear or watch and I felt bad that I couldn't give them my undivided attention. It usually ends up being very stressful because I'm trying to get dinner ready before having to run off and take someone somewhere. Rob has been traveling alot this year, being gone almost every week. So it is all left up to me. So I had a brilliant friend of mine make a suggestion and I took it even further. Each one of the kids has their own little mail box that they got to decorate. I put them on a little shelf in our kitchen. I can use these to put little notes of encouragement or little gifts to let the kids know that I am thinking of them. I have a regular sized mail box on the counter for my kids to put things in that they want me to see or a note if they have something to say to me. I tell them that I would check my mail box at the end of every day so that they knew I would get to it when I could. They can also put little notes in each others mail boxes to encourage each other. It has been so fun. And who doesn't LOVE happy mail? I love getting letters in the mail from people. It is a lost art since e-mail was invented. But I love getting nice messages in e-mail, too, instead of the junk. It just brightens your day. :)

Update in a nutshell. I will eventually do a post ALL about Hawaii when I can get my computer to work properly. BEST VACATION EVER!!!!

Thanks for stopping by :)

Krissi

Angel #2

A picture that was posted on Facebook by a friend made me think of my second angel. First, the background. I was 15 and going into my sophomore year when we moved from Idaho to Wisconsin. I was anorexic at the time and my self-esteem was slim to nonexistent. I developed a love for volleyball and tried out for the team in Wisconsin. I made starting team! But the girls that had lived there their whole life were not too happy because one of their friends got cut. They blamed me. That made life very interesting. I was playing volleyball with a group of girls that hated me. But I stuck with it. One in particular singled me out because rumor had it that her boyfriend said he thought I was cute. She would trip me in the halls, call me names, throw basketballs at my head in PE, write naughty names on my locker, shove me into lockers and so forth. That first year in a new school was hell. But in comes my angel...

This angel was my Sunday school teacher. She was always so upbeat and positive and taught me that if I didn't feel confident I just needed to fake it until I make it. She was always encouraging me to try new things and put myself out there. That was pretty terrifying for me and still is, but I tried out for the school musical because of her encouragement and got the lead role. She came to my musicals and supported me any way she could. She had 6 children of her own and her marriage was falling apart, but she never acted like it was a burden or too much trouble to support me. She went beyond her calling and cared for me. She eventually became my Laurel advisor and I feel that it was a direct blessing from Heavenly Father that she continue to be put in a place where she could influence me. It was the summer before my Senior year. I was homesick for Idaho. I missed my friends desperately. Well, she picked up on this and invited me to go on a road trip with her and some of her kids. They were headed West for some reason, I don't really remember, but she offered to drive out of her way to drop me off in Idaho so that I could see all my friends before we all graduated. It was amazing to me! Then she picked me up and we went sight-seeing in Yellowstone on the way home and stayed in Jackson Hole. It was a blast. One of the highlights of my life. But her influence didn't stop there. She encouraged me all through my Senior year and helped me with my Laurel project and gave me the confidence to put on a talent show for the ward. She would take me shopping with her girls and treated me like her own daughters. She was always telling me how cute I was and trying to dress me up in something other than frumpy clothes....poor woman had her work cut out for her. :) I eventually overcame my anorexia. When I went off to college she had me drive with her boys so that I was watched out for.

She eventually got divorced. But she never once complained about her life or what was happening. She made me feel like I was a priority and worth her time. I can't hardly believe it when I look back now. Doesn't she seem too good to be true?

What I took from her was the desire to go the extra mile in my callings. I want people to know that I genuinely love them and would do anything for them, not just because I am their Visiting Teacher or the Beehive advisor...but because I care about them as a person. I don't always have as much time as I would like to be there for them, but I try to do what I can. I also try to see the positive in everything and try not to complain about anything. I also fake my confidence and hopefully after 20 years I'm a little closer to making it than faking it. :) I love her dearly and I hope she knows how much she means to me and that she made a huge difference in my life. I wish I could repay her, but I will probably just have to pay it forward to some one else.

Has this angel ever crossed your path? Thanks for stopping by! :) Krissi

BONEHEAD

Sometimes I say some pretty boneheaded things. For example...once I said, in all seriousness, "Cupcakes are like little mini cakes." Yes...those words actually came out of my mouth. Or sometimes I will say something I think is funny and if I don't get the response I was looking for the first time, I will repeat myself. Still no response. Well, maybe if I say it ONE more time...nope. I usually try to pass it off as "I'm a Blond" behavior, but it can only go so far.

I also do some pretty boneheaded things. Like one time I was at a friend's house. This friend and I are just starting to get to know each other and I think she was testing the waters to see if she actually wanted to pursue a friendship with me. Well, my daughter, Bella, was stinky and I hadn't thought to bring the diaper bag. It never fails. Your children always poop when you don't bring the diaper bag. So I asked if I could borrow a diaper from her. She just happened to have one, even though she had potty-trained her youngest. So I proceeded to change Bella, but I did it on her coffee table not even thinking that my friend might be horribly offended by it. I realized it while I was changing Bella, but what do you say at a moment like that? "Oh, sorry, I hope you don't eat off your coffee table!" So I say nothing and act like it was the most normal thing in the world. I DID wipe the table off with a wipe just to make sure it was clean. MORTIFIED!

But here is the thing...once I do or say something boneheaded, I play it over and over in my mind, working myself up into a tizzy thinking that CERTAINLY no one would want to be my friend after saying or doing something so stupid. Am I alone in this? Is this a female thing? Are there any men out there that do this, too? Looking for some perspective. What's that saying? "It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." That is Mark Twain. My new motto.

This was my deep thought for today! :)

Krissi

DEEP THOUGHTS from the SHOWER

I do not get much quiet time during my day. I don't regret it or resent it. It is simple fact. So I have found that I cherish my shower time. It is quiet, the water is warm, I feel clean, renewed, refreshed. So it makes sense that THAT is the place where I receive the most inspiration. I first learned that I would have twins during shower time. I thought Heavenly Father was joking until the ultrasound proved it to be true. There have been many other things that I have learned through my shower time. Many of the things I have been pondering about and writing about come from there. So I am curious..where are you when you receive your inspiration?

One of the things I have been feeling lately has to do with my children. I have learned so much about the nature of our Heavenly Father by being a parent myself. Right now I am dealing with a teenager and a pre-teen. It is like one day they just turn on you and you don't recognize them anymore. So the thing that struck me in the shower today was this little parallel:

I have raised my children from babies, taught them, watched them learn and grow and I have a pretty good idea of who they are and what they are capable of. I have seen their talents and listened to their fears and desires. Now Jason is rebelling and testing the boundaries. He has become very angry and ornery and won't say a kind word to anybody. I want to shake him and say, "This is NOT who you are! I love you and want what is best for you. Why are you fighting against me?" It then struck me that Heavenly Father feels the same way. He knows who each one of us is, what we are capable of, what are talents are. Sometimes we fight against him. We have forgotten who we are and are trying to figure it out on our own. He lovingly says to us, "I love you, I want what is best for you, why are you fighting against me?" He watches us make mistakes and picks us back up, but always, ALWAYS, He loves us and will keep trying to help us. That is how I feel about my children. I would do anything for them, I will always love them and be there for them. I now understand better what my parents have been going through and dealing with for many years, when I, at times, would judge and say, "Why do you put up with that?"

As my children are growing so quickly, I feel a sense of urgency and I am questioning myself, wondering if I have taught them everything they will need to know to become amazing adults. I am questioning if I have instilled in them the knowledge that I LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY. I am wondering if they have all of the tools necessary to heal from the mistakes I have made as a parent. I want to hold them, love them, spend every minute I can with them. I pray that I have not wasted the time I have been given with them and have not spent that time on things that are of no importance.

Thanks for joining me in my deep thought from the shower today.

Krissi :)

Angel #1

I have been thinking about the angels in my life. There are just so many that I had a hard time deciding who I wanted to write about first. I decided to start with an angel from my early childhood. This angel will never know what she means to me because I will probably never run into her again. She played a brief role on the stage of my life, but had a huge impact on me.

I was about 8 years old. Home life was not that great. My father at the time was not a pleasant person to be around, from what I remember. He would come home and we would have to gage what kind of mood he was in. I would try to clean the house and be the best little girl I could be so that he would come home and be happy. Sorry, this story starts off as kind of a downer, but you need to know the whole story so that you can grasp what this angel did for me. This angel was a neighbor. She didn't have any kids my age, but she had younger kids and I loved to go over and play with them. She would have me babysit sometimes. But she took an interest in me for some reason. She would invite me over and teach me about art and poetry. She would have me spend the night and we would paint our nails and do our hair. She taught me how to ride a horse. She was one of those people that was very eccentric and didn't quite fit in, but I LOVED her. She actually reminds me of the main character in the book "The Ladies Auxiliary" by Tova Mirvis. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. It is one of my favorite books probably because it reminds me of this angel.

Whenever I was with her I felt free and that I could be anything and say anything I wanted. She helped me set free my creative side. She would get exuberant over anything I did, but it felt genuine. My favorite memory was a rainbow I made out of yarn on a piece of paper and then I wrote a poem to go with it. I don't remember the details, I only remember the feelings. How she made me feel important and talented and like I had something special to offer. Another of my favorite memories was of her letting me ride a horse around her back yard. I fell in love with horses after that and tried to draw them, pet them, and ride them any chance I could! She doesn't know it but she shaped so much of what I love today. I love art, poetry, music, to create, and to appreciate the beauty around me in nature, all thanks to her. It became an outlet for me when I didn't feel I could open up and say what I wanted to say.

One day when my father finally lost it, he was throwing furniture all over the house, papers, books, the piano, anything he could get his hands on and was yelling at my mother and throwing things at her, I grabbed my two sisters and my brother and ran to my angel's house. I felt safe there and knew that we would be taken care of. She called the police and kept us entertained while the police took care of the situation.

From her I gained a desire to take an interest in children that seem quiet and introverted, to help them learn how to express themselves through music or art. It is what prompted me to want to become a child psychologist. I never finished my degree, but I have nine children to practice on. :) I try to teach my kids how to create and find their own voice now.

Shortly after that my mom remarried and we moved and I don't know what happened to my angel. I think she moved as well. I pray she received many blessings for being an angel to me in my time of need.

Has this angel ever crossed your path?

Thanks for stopping by. :)

Krissi

Freezer Meals FRIDAY!

See these two beautiful women? I LOVE these women! Tami Lyman and Jenn Bronson. We decided to get together and do freezer meals. It was a learning process. :) We got together a couple days before and decided on some meals we wanted to make. My suggestion is to use meals that your family already eats so that you aren't introducing something new to them. They won't like it as well. We chose lasagna, chix enchiladas, chix and broccoli casserole, poppyseed chix casserole, then we did a soup base for chix tortilla soup and 6 lbs. of cooked hamburger (I added taco seasoning to mine for tacos, taco soup and nachos), and some chix marinated to grill, and also some chix for burritos. It was marinated in carne asada seasonings.

We gathered our grocery list based on ingredients and then looked online for the best prices. Jenn is a member of this online thingy (love the technical term) that shows you what the deals are in several local grocery stores. Ones in red are "stock up on it" prices. Ones in blue are a good deal but only get it if you need it. Walmart will match any price if you bring in the ad. So we had one person do the shopping at Walmart. We found great prices on chix breasts and hamburger. Hence a lot of chix dishes. :) We want to do more beef recipes next time. Then we just split the bill three ways. We figure we can each take turns doing the shopping and whose house we are cooking at.


We got together Friday morning and started cooking the meat. We discovered that some of the cooking can be done the night before so that we aren't just standing waiting for all the meat to cook. We had 60 lbs of chix and 18 lbs of hamburger and 3 lbs. of Italian sausage. YIKES!

Jenn, who is our health GURU, insisted we drain the hamburger and she even wanted to rinse it but we told her drained was fine. :) Here is all the fat we drained off the hamburger and sausage. Jenn even took paper towels and soaked up more grease. LOL she cracks me up. But thanks to her, we will be healthier. :)

I made lasagnas and the marinades and the enchiladas at the table. We did get some tinfoil pans to freeze them in, but a tip I learned is to put some Saran Wrap in your 9x13 pan and then put your food in it. Freeze it then pull it out by the Wrap and wrap it up and then wrap it in tinfoil. Then when you are ready to cook it, you pull the wraps off and place it back into your 9x13 pan and cook. This saves on pans and space in your freezer. They stack nicely. :)

We had a blast! Great conversation and it only took us 6 hours (with kids and lunch in the midst) to make:

1 meatless lasagna

1 lasagna with sausage

3 ziploc bags of chix marinated for the grill

3 ziploc bags of cooked taco meat (2lbs in each)

1 pan chix enchiladas

1 ziploc bag poppyseed casserole

1 pan chix and broccoli casserole

1 bag Spanish rice

1 bag chix carne asada marinade

2 bags chix tortillas soup base

Next we want to do a stew mix, chix pot pie, lentil soup, cafe rio meat, and some steak marinades. I am going to do some crepes to freeze. They are great for dessert or for putting chix marsala or other things in. 15 meals for $90 ( about $6 a meal) isn't bad for our family size, plus some of them give leftovers so they will last for more than one meal. I am using mine for when my parents come to watch the kids while hubby and I are in Hawaii.

You are welcome, Mom. :D

If you have any tips you would like to share, PLEASE DO! We are still learning. :) If you would like any of the specific recipes we used, shoot me an e-mail and I will send them to you. kristina@byu.net

Thanks for stopping by!

Krissi