Now that the kids are back in school, maybe I will have more time to blog. It is kind of like writing in my diary for all to see only a little more censored. :) If you could see my ACTUAL journal, you might be tempted to put me in a Psych Ward.
As I was writing in my journal today, my thoughts turned to my brother, Alan, who passed away almost a year ago. It was this week that he was moving in with us. I can't believe a year has passed already since then. So much has happened and changed.
It got me thinking about a group of angels that helped me through that hard time after his death. I would like to acknowledge them now.
The day I found out about his death, I attended church because the children had a Primary program that they were participating in and I didn't want to deprive them of that. I knew it would be very hard to be there in the emotional state I was in. I wanted to be alone, or so I thought. But this one angel saw me sitting there and put her arm around me and took me to Relief Society and kept her arm around me the whole time. She didn't mind that I was an emotional wreck, spewing snot and tears all over the place. She just hugged me even harder. She didn't say a word. I just felt her love.
I have thought about that over the last year. When you see people that are hurting so badly, it is hard to know what to do or say at that moment. But she just knew what I needed and did it.
Another angel that day. I called up my oldest and dearest friend in the early morning hours after finding out and told her the news. She told me she would be over that afternoon. She and her husband played with the kids while I sat in my room and tried to process everything. I was so glad the kids could play and be happy while I was having my break down. It allowed me to be able to really let it all out and grieve without trying to be strong for my kids. I didn't want to talk and she didn't try to get me to talk. She waited for me to open up. She was a rock for me that day and has been for me every day since I have known her.
Another angel. A friend who had recently lost her brother heard the news and she brought me some flowers with a card that said, "Here is something beautiful to look at when you first wake up in the morning to chase the bad dreams away." I loved it! It really did help me because it mostly let me know that someone else knew that kind of pain and they had made it through, and it let me know that someone cared.
One more angel. We were driving Alan's body up to Idaho. We got the news that we could get his body a day earlier than we had planned. We weren't quite prepared to go, but we wanted to get up there as soon as possible. In comes an angel. She had gathered snack foods and lunch foods for our family. It was a God-send. We had all the food we needed for the drive and were set to leave in no time. We hadn't told anyone our dilemma. But God knew and sent an angel.
I am so grateful for these angels that came in abundance during the most crucial time of need for me. Thinking back on it, it lifts me up and reminds me that I am loved and God knows my needs.
Thanks for stopping by. :)
Krissi
