UPDATE

So all my test restults came back normal. Oh Joy. I'm perfectly healthy except that I can't eat and I vomit almost every morning and sometimes at night. Now the doctor wants me to try a medicine for acid reflux. So we'll see if that helps. I am now down to 128lbs. When I do feel hungry I try to eat as much as I can, which isn't much. I asked the doctor if I could have a colonoscopy because polyps run in the family. She wasn't very on board with that saying that polyps wouldn't cause those kinds of symptoms. Yeah, maybe in most people, but couldn't it just be possible that it might in me? I also asked if I could have a pap done. She said, sure but not right now. So I'm thinking it is time to try another doctor or she could just wait until I'm so emaciated and dehydrated that THEN she could treat me for that and feel like she did something to help. DOCTORS! Love them, but could you please think outside the box sometimes? TO BE CONTINUED......

Wanna Play Doctor?

So for the last few months, I have been waking up every morning sick to my stomach. I have been fatigued, bruising easily, light headed, and now the nausea has gotten so bad that I haven't been able to eat more than 500 calories a day. Also, my periods have been wonky over the last couple years, but last month I had a period every two weeks. Sorry to get graphic here, but the periods are VERY clotty, too. At first I thought I might be pregnant and even took a few pregnancy tests, but no, and thank goodness because how would I explain THAT one to my hubby that got snipped... It isn't low iron; I take vitamins every day including extra iron. I went to the doctor thinking it was mono back in July, but tested negative. The nausea continued so I went back last week and the doctor did an ultrasound and they found a cyst on my ovary. They said it is common and not to worry, but with the periods being weird for over a year I wonder how long it has been there? I thought the weird periods were because of the IUD which is when Rob got snipped so I could take it out, but no IUD and even weirder periods. Is this TMI? I just don't have any faith in doctors. They make educated guesses and prescribe medicine to help the symptoms, but not get to the problem. In fact the doctor I saw gave me a prescrip for an anti-nausea medicine that isn't working. They did some blood tests and so forth and I haven't heard back at all even though I called to get the results. So here I sit, sick to my stomach and wanting to die because it is no fun feeling like you have the flu for over two months. My body is weak from lack of eating and I've lost a lot of weight. Good times. One other thing. I have been sweating pretty badly from my armpits even though I am cold most of the time. It is very weird. So any ideas? I thought it would be fun to take you along on this fun little journey to see "What is wrong with Kris Tolman,", and let's not get analytical about what is wrong with me mentally. Only physically. Let's cross our fingers and hope it is something NOT serious. Plus I just have this thing that if you tell someone you are dying, it usually turns out to be nothing because fate likes to prove you wrong. :) Update coming soon, but I would like to hear your thoughts....

Long overdue update

Well, so much has happened over the summer that I don't even think to blog about it cuz no one really cares I'm sure....

First of all I injured my ankle playing volleyball and I'm still recovering from that so I haven't been able to take the kids swimming like I was planning. I also made the decision to take a break from teaching piano for a while to focus on my kiddos. This was a very hard decision for me, but I feel like it will be the best decision. We are still homeschooling our kids this year and I need to be able to give them my full attention!

Then Rob injured his knee playing basketball and tore his ACL so he needs surgery. But before he gets surgery he is going on a 10 mile hike up into the mountain with the scouts!!! MEN!

We went to the Tolman Family Reunion in Idaho and that was nice to see all of the family we don't get to see very often. We also visited Rob's mom in the nursing home. Then went down to Utah to visit Lori and her family and Phee. That is always a good time. :0)

Rob and I celebrated our 14 year Anniversary on the 26th. Where did the time go??? How did I end up with 9 kids and the oldest being a teenager!? I'm too young for that....

MY SUMMER IN A NUTSHELL...but we are ending with a camping trip this weekend with an awesome family from the ward. CAN'T WAIT!

Then back to school and the old grind stone...:0) LIFE IS GOOD!

Thanks for stopping by for this Tolman update. I will try to do better!!!!

SO much FUN!

I LOVE it when I make new friends! :) I have been going to the Recreation Center here in Parker for the last couple of weeks to play volleyball. Volleyball is an obsession of mine. It is very addicting....
The people there have been playing together for a while so I was nervous to come in. They don't know me or how I play and I haven't been playing as consistently as they have. But they were so welcoming and every time I go there is a group that is always inviting me to play with them. Then last night, they invited me to go out for tacoes. It was so much fun! These are the kind of people I wouldn't normally "hang out" with. They are men that are single from ages 30-50 and some women that are my age that are single and there are some guys that are married that have kids that play volleyball and then there are the 20 something kids that have youth and energy on their side. We play from 6:30PM to 10PM. They found out I have nine kids and they couldn't get over it....It was fun getting to know them and find out their stories.
Just thought I would share since my last post was such a downer....But you are never too old to meet new people and make new friends. That is my two cents for the day. :)
Thanks for stopping by! I will try to get pictures of them. I'm sure they will looooove THAT! LOL

What to say....?

Well, First off, I am horrible at blogging. But I have been so consumed with lots of feelings about the past, about the present, about life and death. I think this post is going to be more for my benefit of getting everything out then for your benefit. Although, if someone reads this and can relate, that's great. :0)

We have some friends that lost their 12 year old daughter this morning. She has been fighting a long battle due to being born with congenital heart defects and other defects. She made it a lot longer than the doctors thought she would. I have been reading their blog to keep up on how they have been doing. The link is here, if you would like to read it. http://www.lovemyangel1997.blogspot.com/ It is very humbling to read it and the faith and testimony of the parents is amazing during the hardest trial they have had to face. I cry just thinking about it. It really hit home for me because that could have been my daughter, McKenna. It just never ceases to amaze me that the trials we are called to face are so different. We really just cannot judge anyone, because we don't have a clue as to what they are going through or have gone through.

I have also been thinking about my past and how I thought I had bottled it up all nice and neat so that I could move forward in life. Then someone came back into my life that brought up all those feelings of worthlessness I try to hide. It has been very trying for me. I went through anger at having felt so worthless and anger at those who made me feel worthless. But I just came to the realization that I needed to go through this so that I could get it all out of my system. So there was one person I thought was a friend but turned out to be the epitome of everything I had to deal with in being abandoned by my fathers. I felt abandoned all over again and like I wasn't worth loving. But I am grateful I went through it, even though it hurt, because I feel like I've grown from it. It amazes me that Heavenly Father knew just the thing I needed to go through. I didn't understand what the purpose was until I was truly humbled and then when I was crying on my knees, he let me know what I needed to learn from it. This may sound crazy, but it was very personal and not even my husband knew I was going through it. It also got me thinking about the people that come into our lives and how they have a purpose. Sometimes they are there to lift us when we need it, but sometimes they are there because there is something we need to learn from them. I'm grateful for all of them. I hope I'm the person in your life that was there to lift you when you needed it.

I just feel so much gratitude at the blessings I have been given in my life, that I feel I'm not worthy of, but He blesses me anyway. I also came to the sweet realization that it doesn't matter that I was abandoned by my fathers because I have always had ONE father that has NEVER forsaken me. I love Him with all my heart! I have a very personal relationship with my Father in heaven. I feel Him laughing at me at some of the boneheaded things I do. He laughs in a gentle, loving way. He also gently reminds me when I make mistakes. He reminds me in a talk I hear at church that seems like it's just for me. Or an article I read. Or in someone making a passing comment. He never judges me harshly. I'm grateful for that.

I love my husband SOOOOOOOO much! I can't believe that I married the one man that was perfect for me. He may not be anyone else's ideal, but he is mine. :0) I'm grateful for the beautiful children I have been given and trusted with. I'm grateful for their strong spirits and willingness to do what is right. They teach me everyday. Mostly what they teach me is patience, but sometimes they surprise me with their wisdom and insight. :0)

Sorry this is such a serious post, but it is very therapeutic for me. With the passing of that dear sweet girl, it just made me realize what is important in life. Our friendships, relationships with our family, and our relationship with our Heavenly Father. So go out and tell someone how much they mean to you today.
Thanks for letting me blather on.

The NEWEST Member of our Family

Everyone modeling their new Christmas Jammies
Jason doesn't wear jammies anymore so we found him these boxers with the Grinch on the hiney. Everyone modeled like Jason. :0)

Petey looks like the puppy from the Cottnelle commercials.

Well, we finally did it. We got a dog! I wasn't the one that needed convincing. :0) Here is how it happened....

ME: Rob, Randy Schmidt called and said that he is driving to Utah to pick up some dogs. They're free and he is wondering if he should bring us back one, too.

Rob: No.

Later that night.....

ME: I really feel that we should get that puppy. If we don't do it now, we will miss this opportunity. Jason is almost twelve and he has wanted one so badly for such a long time. Pause....they are sooooo cute!

Rob: crickets chirping.........

The next day........

ME: We told the kids that we would get them a dog last year and you have always found an excuse to not get one....

Rob: We need a fence first and we can't afford it right now.

ME: We can put it in the garage. And since I cant have anymore babies, I want a puppy....

5 minutes later.....

Rob: Hey, Randy. I guess we're going to need that dog after all.

I was so excited! We kept the puppy at the Schmidt's house until 5AM Christmas morning. NORMALLY, we tell the kids not to get us out of bed until 7AM. But I was so excited I got up at 5Am and sat and waited.....didn't hear any noises. Rob got home with the puppy and I said, "Go wake up the kids." They came out all bleary-eyed...."what time is it?" "Mom, I heard some whining."

I said, "Uh-oh. Do we have an animal caught in our garage?"

They all run to check. "Be careful!"

They open the door. "Hey, there is a dog in our garage! Who does it belong to?" Checking the tag. "Hey, our number is on the tag! It's our dog!"

BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!! :0) Rob has become attached to Petey the sweetie, too. He is such a good puppy. He doesn't ever bark and he is almost potty-trained.

I hope everyone had an AMAZING CHRISTMAS! Happy New Year!

Cost of Online school

I had a good question about the cost of online schooling. As far as fees, we pay a normal fee like what you would pay if we went to public school. That was it. There are some intial start up costs like school supplies (Paper, pencils, crayons, etc.) They gave us some of the paper and all of the books. The computers were the most expensive, but we just found some laptops for a really good price and figure that they will be useful in the future, as well, so they were worth it. I wonder if we had gone with a different online school, if there would have been a larger fee. We went with one in our school district so maybe since we lived in the district, it was cheaper? That might be something to look into....
The good thing was we didn't buy new school clothes and we don't have to keep buying school supplies for the rest of the school that were shared. We were always getting asked for money for this and for that. We don't have to buy school lunches which went up to $2.50 this year. OUCH! We don't have to pay an exorbitant amount for field trips. $9 just to take the school bus anywhere plus $5 for whatever it was they were doing. So I think it all balances out. :0)